Since his embarrassing and unsuccessful bid for Brighton Class Moron in 1999, Tyler "Rat Tyla" Peterson underwent an arduous 10-year marketing plan to restore his image in time for this year's landmark reunion. As the product of professional lifestyle consultants and online profile managers, the former write-off has emerged simply as "Mr. Peterson, the Esteemed."
After a brief foray into Psychology, Mr. Peterson used his acute understanding of the human mind to manipulate editors at the Salt Lake Tribune into giving him a job as Chief (ahem, intern) Correspondent. Tired of interviewing famous people like former Secretary of Health and Human Services Mike Leavitt, Mr. Peterson focused his time on blessing the ears of others through piano performance. The culmination of his efforts resulted in a masterful performance of Chopin's Minute Waltz at Libby Gardner Hall to the applause of roughly 10 child prodigies and their wealthy benefactors.
Currently, Mr. Peterson is Regional Account Manager for what his CEO calls "the world's next YouTube." Mr. Peterson will let you look at his stock options contract if you promise not to come begging for money after his golden life-sized statue replaces the seagull atop the gate at South Temple and State Street.
When he's not courting rich investors, Mr. Peterson indulges in his rich and beautiful wife, Emily. The couple has one 5-month-old son, Dean. The proud parents realize their child is ideal for magazines and movies, but they are too sensitive and caring to exploit their infant for money, and instead, kindly let those without children hold him.
On July 30, Mr. Peterson will relocate to Washington, D.C. to earn a Masters in International Affairs. It will only be a matter of time before he is the country's top spy, careening through exploding neighborhoods in terrorist villages and recklessly spending your tax dollars on sports cars and luxury watches. He is planning a book in time for the 20-year reunion. Mr. Peterson may be available to sign copies for a limited fee for those who call in advance. Thank you.
[Mr. Peterson is happy to share his wife's version of their lives on their blog here. E-mail tylerppp(at)hotmail(dot)com if you are interested and he'll grant you access.]
